I don’t watch much TV and when I do I usually just turn on the History Channel, Discovery Channel, or I am watching a game.  There are very few shows that I watch but, my wife and I like to watch America’s Got Talent.  We don’t even watch it on the night that it is shown but we watch it on Hulu a day or two later.

Last night we watched the results show for this year.  The winner was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. a throwback crooner who had a great voice and a great story.  He is a great talent, he has a great background story, he is a very likable person, but he is not the best talent.  So why did America vote for him?  Because we are nice.  We love a good story.

I make this short post because I don’t see what others are saying about us as a country.  We may come across as arrogant.  We may have an air of superiority of the rest of the world.  We may even look like bullies to others.  But as a people we are not.

We love the underdog.  We love the rags to riches story.  We want to see people succeed on their own terms, through their own hard work, and with perseverance.  We showed that with our voting for America’s Got Talent.  The big winner with the show is America; we finally showed that we are a nice and caring nation.

Congratulations USA, you did not vote for the best talent, but you got it right.

It is amazing how things have been sneaking up on me. I have twice now realized my dreams and have been completely unprepared when I got there. In this case being unprepared has been a wonderful and exciting surprise and is currently opening up massive possibilities.

Let me catch you up a little bit on what has been going on and where I now stand. I know that I have not been blogging much and most of my posts have been substandard for me. I apologize but I have been having a lot of fun living. Here is a little list of what has been going on:

• I spent 8 months living in Taipei Taiwan teaching English to 5-6 year olds. Total easy job but I was deported after having discovered that I started working before my paperwork had been processed, a big no no. I am serving the 3^rd year of a 5 year ban from the country.
• I spent 6 months living on the beach in Miami Beach and working like a dog (with some really outstanding results) as a Business Development Manager for ActionCOACH Team Sage. All of a sudden I woke up one day (while driving) and realized that I was living on the beach, commuting to work through palm trees every day. Exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately was was not being paid enough to enjoy things and my wife could not find work. The result? I quit before I got divorced or had a mental melt down. Location was spectacular but the JOB was still just a JOB. 50% on my way to my designed life but not quite there.
• I came back to Nashville and sulked my way back to teaching, only to have 96% success rate for my students on the Algebra I test, and double the success rate on the new “standards” (or trick questions as I like to call them – totally unfair for the students but I digress), then I promptly quit after 18 months because I can no longer justify working in an industry where the employees believe that it is OK for a teacher who did less than I did (I was the Math Chair, DASH Chair, presented the the entire middle school principles, led a technology seminar, tutored every morning, sponsored a web design class) and had worse results was paid more than me just because they were older, and there was no chance at changing this. JOB acceptable, time off and benefits acceptable, PAY no where near acceptable.
• Started a career as a football official. I know it doesn’t sound nearly as glamorous as a coach but I really enjoy it. It also runs in the family as my Grandfather and father were officials. Plus it is more pay with way way way less time. And I get to be involved in one of the sports that I love. Looks like a win for me.

So what has happened now? We spent the month of July traveling with our baby daughter. I was sitting in a log cabin in the Smoky Mountains when it yet again hit me. I have created the perfect scenario. To borrow a bit from Edgar Allen Poe, I am on the edge of a precipice.

Before I think that I just was not ready mentally to take on the challenge of true lifestyle design. Now I am. I realized after picking up and beginning to reread the 4 Hour Work Week book by Timothy Ferris that I had finally accepted and developed all the tools necessary to get exactly what I want out of life. It is all there for me, time to react. Previously I would have been scared and overwhelmed. What do I do? How is it all going to work? How am I going to live without a full time JOB? What the hell am I doing? Not now. Somehow I have developed all these great skills that all give me a portable income.

A Portable Income is my number one goal. I love to work, I feel so accomplished, so alive, so young. I have no problem with authority. I actually quite respect people who have earned their way to the top and always take time to consider their suggestions. What I despise is being told that I have to be somewhere when there is nothing for me to do. I just can’t stand it.

I have developed skills as a Web Designer, and a Social Media Marketing and SEO Guru. Wow where did that come from? I don’t know but I got right to where I want to be. I now have the time to create what I want how I want it, and I have the abilities to do so. It was a bit of a rocky road, it was not easy, but now I have it. It is so exciting.

As a quick wrap up to get us all back on the same page. Life has surprised me but only looking back. I was living in the tropics (Taiwan and Miami Beach), I was living on the beach (Miami Beach and I still can’t believe I moved), I regained a significant amount of my time (teaching) but there was always something that was not quite right. Now I have the tools and the options to make it all happen. Stay tuned for the excitement.

Oh and thanks Tim. If you have not read the 4 Hour Work Week read it! Re read it! And read it until it all sinks in!

So that brings up the next logical question. Why is it so difficult for you this time? The answer is because I am not just making a lifestyle change, or a mental attitude change, but I am making both a lifestyle and a mental attitude change at the same time. It has only been recently that I have realized that I need to have both in order to get to where I want to be. You can check out my Bio to see where my changes have been in the past, and although the changes have been significant they were not as big as the change I am making now.

The change that I am going through is a mental change to get to the next level. That has been an ongoing change for me for a long time. I have been holding myself back because it is difficult. I am going to a whole different level and I am leaving some people behind, that is difficult. They are either going to have to change with me or they will only become acquaintances and friends forgotten. I am also having a more difficult time meeting people with the same beliefs and thoughts as me. I find that I am becoming a mentor for a few people who don’t want to be left behind but I am having a difficult time finding my own mentors.

The next change is moving up in a social and financial class. That has become even more difficult than I could have imagined. I will still be a sports loving, beer drinking, outdoor enjoying average guy in that respect, but now I will be choosing micro brews, hanging out in more secluded beaches, staying at nicer hotels, and driving fancier sports cars. I know that the limitations I have been setting on myself are self imposed, but I also feel that there is a little resistance moving up in money and class. People seem to be a little more closed off, more reserved. So is that me and my perception, or is there truth to that and that is how people have gotten to where they want to be? I don’t have that answer yet, but I think that it is a self imposed glass ceiling that I will break through soon.

Ok Coach so what is the point? The point is that the more difficult the change the better. The difficulty does not mean that you can’t do it, the difficulty means that it is worth doing and worth sticking with it until the change happens.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2011/05/self-directed-effort.html

I wish I knew where that quote came from, if you do let me know in the comments section.  This quote really sums up what makes a good athlete (or business person, or student, or person) into a great athlete.

How does this quote work so well?  It handles defeat in a gracious manner and learns a lesson from it.  It reduces jealousy of success and begins to work on your own.  The quote also lets you be humble and ask for help.

Everyone has setbacks.  We all lose from time to time.  The greatest coach of all time, John Wooden, won 10 NCAA basketball championships.  He went 4 years without a loss, but he did lose from time to time.  He did not get mad, he learned why they lost and made the team better.  He was always looking for the little details that would make the team better.  John Madden was the same way.  Everyone knows him as the NFL commentator and the Video Game producer (which is by the way the most popular all time game now), but did you know he has the best winning percentage of any NFL coach with 10 years or more?  Why did he win so much?  Like John Wooden he learned from his losses and always looked at every small detail to find out why he lost and tried to make his team better.  They did not get bitter, they got better.

Living by this motto helps free yourself from being jealous of success.  There is one sure way to ruin a good run and that is by becoming jealous of others success.  It gets you distracted from your own goals.  Being jealous of others success begins to put negative thoughts in your head.  It begins to make you think that the world is not abundant enough for the both of you.  You begin to think of them as an opponent.  You lose focus on your goals and once you have lost focus on your goals you begin to fail.

In reality the only place with one winner and one loser is in sports.  In real life there is a lot to go around, there are a lot of Win-Win deals out there.  By constantly trying to get better you begin to run into opportunities.  You focus on yourself your goals and how to get to where you want to be.

To get to what you want you have to ask for help.  There has never been a great athlete who has not had a coach.  Everyone needs help.  There is always someone who has some knowledge that will help you.  They have thoughts on how to achieve your goals even if they have not done it before.  Instead of getting bitter from a defeat and focusing on how to get better you begin to realize that you may need some help.  Asking for this help is a huge step.  Let others help you to focus on your goals and you will reach them faster and with less pain than you could have ever done on your own.

So next time life gets you down, and you don’t know what to do, Don’t Get Bitter, Get Better.

Since the Secret stormed out of the Oprah studio and took many of you by storm there has been some debate and some let down to the principles taught in the movie.  There are some interesting factors that people overlooked.  The biggest is the difference between Optimistic Thinking and Positive Thinking.

I think that the reason that the Secret is so powerful and why so many people love to watch it is that it is on some sort of different level, and it is.  The problem that comes with watching the Secret is that too many come away from the secret thinking that all they have to do is think positively and the world will change to their favor.  Fill your world with positive thoughts and positive things will happen to you.  That is correct, but it isn’t at the same time.  Here is the difference

Positive Thinking

With positive thinking people say only good things.  They always look to find the positive meaning in something.  They go out convincing themselves that if they think positively then good things will happen.  Thinking positively usually has people saying it out loud “the economy is down but there is only one way for it to go.”  Positive thinkers often times come on too strong and it puts people off, and pushes them away.

Optimistic Thinkers

With optimistic thinking people they only feel good things.  Everything always has a good side to the optimistic thinker.  No one can ever convince an optimistic thinker that something is negative once the optimistic thinker has made up their mind.  Optimistic thinkers tend to keep their thoughts to themselves, there is no need for them to tell anyone that they are optimistic, people just know.  People tend to follow optimistic thinkers, and optimistic thinkers tend to attract more people to them.

So with that description what is the real difference?  The difference with Positive Thinkers and Optimistic Thinkers is that one just thinks and the other one does.  Do you know the difference?  Can you see the significance now?  Of course the Optimistic Thinkers act on their optimism.  They continually see things in an optimistic mind and are able to see opportunities.  This is what the Secret really tells us.  Once we get our thinking in the right perspective we are able to act on it and manifest what we want.  It starts a domino effect.

Not sure what you are now?  There is an easy way to get started.  Simply be a positive thinker, but don’t tell anyone.  Just be one for yourself.  That is another key that people miss in the Secret.  Be a positive thinker for yourself and you will begin to become an Optimistic thinker.  At first you will have to force yourself to see the positive in something, then suddenly it will come naturally.  You will see more and more positives.  You will become the Optimistic person that has success thrust upon them.

Sorry Detroit, my home state, and everyone who is patriotic. I am patriotic, but there comes a time when you have to just move on no matter how hard it is. This may be that time.

I have defended the American Auto industry for a long time. But I have recently conceded that the foreigners may have taken our great industry and made it better. It is not the fault of the Unions, it is not the fault of the Managers, it is not the fault of the CEO and corporate headquarters. It is everyone’s problem, including the consumer.

Lets talk about it in reverse, the easiest way to tell a company that you do not like what they are doing is with your money. Don’t buy their product and they will change until they find out what you want. With the auto industry this has not happened. They have done a tremendous job with their “Buy American” campaign. There is nothing wrong with being patriotic, but if you are buying a product that is consistently getting worse just because of the brand name that is the consumers problem.

Now the “Big Three” have gotten themselves in a bind. They have not changed, instead they have told us what we wanted. That has caused their product to become inferior. Sorry, I am saddened to say, but over all the inexpensive cars of Ford, Chrysler, and GM cannot compete with the inexpensive cars of Toyota, Nissan, and Hyundai. The high end cars of Ford, Chrysler, and GM cannot compete with the high end cars of BMW, Mercedes, and Lexus (which really just is a nice Toyota). The only thing that is saving them is the nice trucks that they produce, but they need to be careful. If they also become complacent with their trucks Nissan and Toyota will overtake them in this category also.

What is the other problem? Henry Ford came up with the best and most efficient model for manufacturing ever. EVER! Now the Japanese and Koreans have made it better. What have the Americans done? I am saddened again to say they have made it worse. The combination of overpaying its employees, acceptance of poor quality standards (I can’t wait to see the comments from the UAW), and the mismanagement of the company leaders has lead the American Auto Industry to where it is at.

I have a huge problem with this. The people who work for the companies, including several of my own family members, are great people. The companies have no reason to be in such pain and sorrow. How did this happen?

We live a great life here. We have a lot of great things in our garage and attics. We have beautiful homes compared to the rest of the World. We have become complacent. We have fallen into the trap of every Championship team except for the UCLA Men’s Basketball team and Lance Armstrong. Every other championship team or person has gotten complacent in their actions. Micheal Jordan the most competitive man on earth other than Lance Armstrong got so board with basketball that he quit and tried baseball. The greatest winning streak of all time…110 years in a row…25 consecutive championships in the America’s Cup Sailing Competition the Americans resorted to a multi-hulled boat challenging the rules finally giving up the title. From 1870 to 1980 Americans ruled the sailing world. Since 1995 we haven’t even made the finals. We simply got complacent.

So how do we change? Just like all great sports teams do, they retool, take a few beatings, but plan for the long run. How does Detroit do this. Reduce, resize, remodel, and reload. Take aim and fire. It can be done and we will do it, but please be patient, everyone from the government to the auto industry needs to just take a deep breath, we will get through this if we plan. If we just shoot randomly we will falter greatly.

“You realize you’re going to miss them, don’t you?” Rohlman said.

Darius McNeal nodded his head. He understood what had to be done.

It really bothers me that they keep showing all these fights going on in schools.  It really makes people think that is all that goes on.  That schools are out of control.  That it is not safe to go to a basketball game in a city.

Why don’t they show things like Amid the grieving, a rare act of sportsmanship Associated Press (http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=914609)? This is the story that should go on the front page of every sports section, on ESPN, on every nightly news.  What will happen?  Maybe, just maybe, it will become a national sensation and be broadcast as the touching moment in sports.

More than likely it will not last long.  What is happening?  Why don’t people like success?  Why don’t people like to see things like this?

Jhontel Franklin

It is an answer I wish I had.  Unfortunately there are a lot of people who want to see others do poorly.  I know it makes them feel better.  It makes their lives seem not so bad.  I wish I knew the solution to this.  It is something that really bothers me.

Don’t think positive, be positive, be the one who makes the difference.  Be the one who champions good causes.  Be the one in your community who only talks of praise and how others can be effected far greater with positive actions than with negative ones.  Be the champion be rising above it all.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Basically stated lifestyle design is living your life in a way that you want to.  Typically you are free from a job and you are able to enjoy things in life that most people are not able to do before retirement.  Timothy Ferris uses a technique he calls “mini retirements”.  So this brings up the tricky part of the lifestyle design

“Work is a must, it is good, healthy, and it provides me with income to do the things that I want to do.  Jobs only take my time away and cause me to miss out on opportunities that I would otherwise be able to take.”

I may not be describing it very well but the  The 4-Hour work Week does an excellent job so go get a copy.

Chang Hong Kung-Fu Exhibition

Being deported from Taiwan was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.  As my wife keeps telling me it was my karma.  Just before we took teaching jobs over there I was ready to pull the trigger and break away from the traditional job setting.  But I was not quite there with my independent income so I took the job over there.  Karma would just not let me stay, I had a different destiny.  That destiny is not just to live a lifestyle that I control but to teach and coach others how to live a lifestyle that they want and can control also.

While learning Kung-Fu from a true Kung-Fu (or more accurately Wu-Su) Grand Master it really made me realize that life is all about real experiences.  It is my time to do this now.  I hope that you can make the journey with me.

Coach Kip riding his bike in Taipei

There is no reason to look for yourself, if you can’t find yourself just look in the mirror.  Everything you are and everything you want to be is staring right back at you.  If you don’t like what you see or if you are not satisfied with who you are then define a new you.  Decide exactly what it is that you want to be and go for it!

It is more simple to do than you think, but it takes consistent persistent action.  You have to have a definite direction and then continue to work toward it.

Write down exactly who you would like to be.  You will not change overnight so be patient.  For a complete life change expect it to take about a year to completely turn around.

You will at first see mostly our old habits coming back time and time again.  Don’t get frustrated just keep working.  You will eventually find that you begin to have some of your new habits surface.  The habits will then gradually creep into your daily life more and more, but only with consistent persistent action.

When you reach a point that is about 50/50 old and new it may be the most difficult time.  It is frustrating that your old habits are coming back.  You may feel an internal struggle.  You can either fight it and stay very confused or support your new you.  I say support who you want to be and the tide will quickly turn in your favor.

Once you move past this stage it is really a downhill roll.  You will begin to do, act, and feel like a new you.  Your old habits will creep in from time to time but this is just a last ditch effort by the old you to make a comeback.  Don’t push them out they may leave a bad feeling behind, instead just release them.

Now you will be the new person that you set out to do, but not after consistent persistent action.  Be proud of you, that you made this happen, and that it was inside of you the whole time.  What to change something else? GREAT!  The more you go through this process the easier it will be to adjust and change.